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Zodianz Diary: My Spiritual Awakening

Zodianz Diary: My Spiritual Awakening

This week I want to share a personal story with you guys: my spiritual awakening.

It’s kind of weird and strange, and rather hard to believe but I’ll tell it anyways.

Most of my family are Catholic, my mom and I are the only ones who are not. My mom converted, while I was baptized at 12 (my choice: Baptist Christian). Anyways, before that I was never connected to anything spiritual or religious, but that all changed when I was around 10 or 11 years old.

There was a moment where I was really sick, and when I mean sick I mean so sick that I couldn’t eat, drink, and I was weak and couldn’t move. I felt like I was dying. You could say that it was the flu, pneumonia, stomach flu, or whatever virus. But everything they tried to give me, food, water, even medicine, I threw it up. It was like this for weeks. My body and spirit, drifting into an empty vessel.

My body and spirit, drifting into an empty vessel.

As I mentioned before in my initial entry, my parents weren’t very loving or supportive – not even enough to bring me to the hospital lol. Shit, if I died I died. Regardless, my grandma was taking care of me the best she could. I remember staying downstairs on the couch because that’s just where I felt I had to stay. I couldn’t move. If I fits, I sits kind of thing lol.

We had a Raley’s grocery store across the street where we would go all the time. One day, my grandma comes home and she tells me that she’s going to bring a man to come and bless me. At this point, I’m like fuck it, I’m desperate lol. She told me he worked at Raley’s, but I’ve never seen him before. But I was a kid, what and who the hell do I know? I didn’t question it.

Here’s where it got weird.

She brought him to our house. He told me he would pray for me, which was unheard of in my household. Prayers? Why would that work? Is what I thought in my head.

I still remember him, he had such a strong aura – it was radiant, white, yellow and pure. He was Filipino, like myself. Anyways, I crawled off the couch with all the strength I could conjure and he began to pray. He didn’t touch me, he just put his hands above me and prayed out loud, asking God to lift the sickness. The prayer didn’t last long, but the intent was there (intent is a huge part of tarot, if you didn’t already know).

...intent is a huge part of tarot, if you didn’t already know...

I laid back down on my couch of death afterwards, thinking what a waste of time that was lol. She thanked him, he left. I went back to sleep.

I swear on my life, the next day I woke up I was no longer sick. And when I mean no longer sick, I mean it was as if it never happened! Girllll… it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time!

I had so much energy, I had an appetite again, and this horrible curse of sickness was magically lifted. So it’s hard to believe that a prayer could do that right? But it’s not. The sickness wasn’t fading before he came and the sickness didn’t slowly fade away after he left. It just went away. Believe what you want.

And you know what’s even more weird? I never saw him again. Looked for him because I didn’t even get to thank him, but never got a chance to do it. Maybe he’s a real person, maybe he’s not.

However, it got me thinking: What was this magic? Who the hell was this person? Why did he pray for me?

From that day forward, I wasn’t the same. I dived deep into my spiritual side, my religious side, and my life’s true calling. I wanted to know anything and everything about the soul. It was as if my spirit, my soul, was possessed. It was God’s calling to me. And when I talk about God, I am talking about a higher power. Whether you believe it or not, there is a higher power no matter what religion you’re into – it’s undeniable.

So why did I choose to get baptized as a Baptist Christian? It was what I had to do to be as close to God as possible. To let the higher power know I understand. To be cleansed of the ignorance and to be blessed with knowledge. It was my deepest desire.

To be cleansed of the ignorance and to be blessed with knowledge.

Long story short, that was not my first instance with angels and devils. People thought I was crazy, so I just learned to keep things to myself. But have you ever felt protected by a spirit or higher being?

When you’re lonely, afraid, weak, sad, or happy they’re looking out for you. They whisper things to you. You can even feel their presence, even if you can’t see them. Whether or not you choose to call them angels or devils, that’s up to you. It’s okay to be afraid of it. I know it still scares me knowing that a higher power can have control over your soul. It happens.

In conclusion, listen to the powers beyond yourself. You do not have to be a certain way, look a certain way, or create crazy rituals to do it – though there’s nothing wrong with creating an environment of peace and meditation (if that’s your intent).

...listen to the powers beyond yourself.

The physical has nothing to do with being spiritual and nothing to do with your soul.

The physical is nothing. The soul is everything. It’s your energy and energy is life.

That is what I know to be true and that is what I am sharing with you.


If you've had a spiritual awakening, please don't be afraid share it with me.

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My Name's Joan Zodianz

I am a natural astrologist, tarot reader, and psychic medium: you can learn more about me here.

I see myself as a vessel of energies (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically), and I have made a promise to God to deliver his messages to you. I communicate only with archangels, angels, and spirit guides.

I use a combination of energy reading, tarot cards, angel oracle cards, and astrology.

MY MISSION: To serve only the living and serve the highest good, and devote myself to the highest power (God).

To Empower, Enlighten, and Educate.

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